Leadership Isn’t About Choosing Sides. It’s About Holding the Tension

 By: Dana Poul-Graf, Founder & Strategic Thought Partner, Key&Spark

Should we slow down or speed up?
Make fast decisions or create time to reflect?
Keep some silos for orientation, or tear them down and co-create?

These questions kept surfacing throughout the 20th ITSMF conference. And they didn’t come up as abstract theory. They showed up in real conversations, lived experiences, and practical challenges leaders are facing right now.

It was our first time presenting at ITSMF, with a session on Leading the Human System of Change: from complexity to clarity. As we listened to the many perspectives shared during the conference and let them settle, one realization stayed with us:

They can all be true.

These apparent contradictions are not a sign of poor leadership. They are a natural expression of human systems under pressure. Organizations today are navigating speed and stability, autonomy and alignment, structure and flexibility all at once.

Leadership, in this context, is not about picking the “right” side.
It’s about staying present to the tension.

What stood out to us was the openness of the ITSMF community and the genuinely friendly, international atmosphere. Even as first-time participants and speakers, it felt easy to connect, exchange perspectives, and feel welcomed. That kind of environment matters. It creates space for real dialogue, not just polished answers.

We didn’t make it to every session. Life happened, and report cards came home that day. Still, the conversations we did have, both inside and outside the conference rooms, were thoughtful, honest, and energizing. They reminded us that progress often happens in the spaces between formal presentations.

You’ll see a short video accompanying this post, capturing a bit of the conference atmosphere. The wine that briefly appears was a thoughtful gift to us as our Managing Partner, Dana Poul-Graf, presented. A small but meaningful gesture that reflected the spirit of appreciation and shared exchange throughout the event.

In the end, this is what leadership in continuous change comes down to. If you want to protect performance so that it remains sustainable over time, leaders need to learn how to regulate tension, not eliminate it. Speed and reflection. Autonomy and alignment. Stability and change. Performance depends on our ability to hold these tensions without burning people out or fragmenting the system.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to the exchange and to the organizers and moderators who created the conditions for it. We’re glad to have been part of this milestone conference and look forward to continuing the conversation as the community moves forward.

If your organization is navigating ongoing change and you want to protect performance by helping leaders regulate tension more consciously, we’d be happy to explore that with you.

Get in touch with Key & Spark to start a conversation about leading performance through continuous change with clarity, trust, and resilience.